Chapter 7: Addiction Recovery (Excerpts)

Holotropic Breathwork and the Twelve Step Tradition of Healing

The traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) outline a path to addiction recovery. The philosophical basis of the program is spiritual, recognizing a Higher Power, or power greater than ourselves, to which we can surrender. Inherent in the concept of a Higher Power is the belief that we can transcend the wound. We can, through having a spiritual experience and by surrendering to a Higher Power, die to one story and be reborn to a larger one.

Breathwork seems to accomplish deep and healing change for some people in recovery and provides a valuable adjunct to therapeutic work in the Twelve Step community and in therapy. The philosophy of Holotropic Breathwork and the philosophy of the Twelve Step model come from the same truths.

AA categorizes alcoholism itself as a disease. This enables recovering addicts and alcoholics to see themselves as whole and healthy if they do not drink or use drugs. Except for naming the disease of addiction, neither system categorizes people under pathological labels based on behaviors and symptoms. Both systems acknowledge that there is a reason for past or present experiences. The Twelve Step model focuses on the disease of addiction as the cause. Holotropic Breathwork acknowledges the presence of trauma at various levels of experience. Both systems recognize the importance of increased awareness in recovery.

The "Ten Opportunities for Recovery in Breathwork" listed on the next page of this book interface with the Twelve Steps. Those who are in recovery usually will find their breathwork experiences are an integral part of working the Steps.

Use of breathwork in recovery

Breathwork is a natural method for entering non-ordinary healing states without drugs. Because it satisfies that innate drive to enter non-ordinary states without the need to take substances, it is a good method for those recovering from addiction. It satisfies an intrinsic need to enter deep states to seek healing and wisdom. By mobilizing the psyche, breathwork facilitates many experiences that seem particularly appropriate to the healing process of addiction recovery outlined in all Twelve Steps. As we have seen previously, breathwork provides access to different kinds of inner experiences: sensory, biographical, perinatal, and transpersonal. Healing occurs on any of these levels or on several levels simultaneously. This multi-level healing work provides internal therapeutic support for dealing with the complex situation that creates and maintains addiction. Breathwork opens the inner door so that we have access to the healer within.

Breathwork provides many opportunities for participants in recovery from addiction. These opportunities are consistent with the goals of their recovery programs. They include the gentle release of denial mechanisms through private insights and understandings, self-empowerment through validation of our inner healing abilities, connection with our own experiences and bodies, deeper connections and intimacies with others, emotional and energetic releases, and spiritual reconnection and peace.

Most alcoholics and drug addicts have experienced intolerable amounts of pain and fear, especially in childhood when they were often at the mercy of at least one abusive parent. Coming to terms with these experiences, fully feeling the tensions and vocalizing the cries of fear and grief, can be a tremendous relief. This man in his thirties describes the opportunity to revisit and release the stored hurt and fear from his childhood during his breathwork session:

I saw myself at nine or ten years old with my father who was drinking while I was taking care of him and keeping other family members out of harm's way. It was very realistic. My Dad was getting cut up by glass he broke. I was taking care of him. He was holding me while he had passed out, and I was afraid to move and wake him up. I was so many times in that situation.

Many addicts and alcoholics have inflicted this kind of pain upon others as well. This young man in his twenties relived his part as a perpetrator:


I went back in time and relived crimes, mistakes, good times, and sad events that had affected my life deeper than I imagined. I was involved with street gangs before coming into recovery. We were involved in an armed robbery. The victim was shot, robbed, and left to die. At the time my feelings were hidden beneath a hard mask of machismo. I had the image I was made of steel and that no one could touch me. I relived these events today, and this time I was able to show my true feelings. Today I shed tears for the victim, his family, and also for the terrible person I was to actually go through things like this. My true feelings were remorse, sadness, hate (for myself), and unwillingness to do these things. These things are already done and cannot ever be changed, but letting out the true feelings that were bottled up inside for years is such a big relief.

"Ten Opportunities for Recovery in Breathwork"

1. The opportunity to enter non-ordinary states of consciousness to seek healing and wisdom using a natural, non-addictive method;
   
2. The opportunity for a direct experience of one's Higher Power;
   
3. The opportunity to experience self-empowerment by using one's own breath for profound healing;
   
4. The opportunity for physical and emotional catharsis of stress and trauma by resolving past issues;
   
5. The opportunity for bonding with others through the group sharing and the sitter/breather partnership;
   
6. The opportunity to deal with themes of death and surrender which are frequent and powerful issues for addicts because of drug overdoses, abortions, HIV/AIDS and other serious illnesses, crime, and encounters with the criminal justice system;
   
7. The opportunity to experience a retreat period of inner reflection which provides balance to the often highly structured, active lives of recovering addicts;
   
8. The opportunity to get in touch with the body, to re-associate what has been dissociated, including feelings of pleasure and unfelt, unresolved traumas;
   
9. The opportunity of permission for sound and movement, which facilitates self-expression and self-trust; and,
   
10. The opportunity for insight, understanding, and acceptance of accountability for our life and actions.

The sharing group

In the sharing group that is part of the Holotropic Breathwork workshop is Fifth Step work. It is an opportunity to share the experience with others who understand and do not judge. The structure of the sharing group is similar to that of a Twelve Step meeting. While one person shares, the others listen with compassion. Neither the other participants nor the facilitator analyzes the contents of the sharing. Participants who attend Twelve Step groups often feel so at home at a Holotropic Breathwork sharing group that they automatically begin their sharing, Hello, my name is ____.

Women in recovery

The issues of addicted women deserve special mention. Women born into this culture already have had less chance at building self-esteem than their brothers. When they have built up enough self-esteem to bear the legacy of the past, breathwork can be a very appropriate vehicle for women's recovery. Within the context of relationship (breather and sitter), there is at last someone to see through their invisibility, to acknowledge their pain and the reasons behind the lack of self-esteem.

Seeing other women undertaking the journey of deep healing can inspire and recommit a woman to this often difficult process. Just knowing that I am not the only one who feels such low self-esteem can move the concept of the problem. From feeling as if low self-esteem is something only I experience and that I deserve personally, a woman can begin to see the systemic, cultural error of inequality and its effects on other women besides herself.

Women, each in search of her own voice

Many women, whether or not they are in recovery feel invisible and unheard. This experience, connected to a lack of self-esteem, is more intense in many recovering women. Within the safe context of the breathwork session, as painful feelings and images come up, there is permission to move and make sounds. In the course of breathwork, we can feel and express the outrage of victimization, the loss of children, abortions, and the grief over the unrealized possibilities of our lives. Women grieve, women rage. Women finally connect themselves again to their emotional and physical experiences and to their own personal power.

Many women report an experience of "finding a voice" in their breathwork sessions. Here are two such experiences:

My feminine wisdom is in my body and I have to bring it up through my body. Standing up, speaking my truth, clearing my body so it can be a channel for what will come to me, as well as what will come from within me. I'm not angry at or afraid of men anymore.

Since "breathing" I have come a long way. It helps me risk appropriate telling and openness and helps me to change my approach to asking for help. I am more willing, in a safe environment to speak . . . and to speak is to heal.